THE WHOLE-BRAIN CHILD

You’ve had those days, right? When the sleep deprivation, the

muddy cleats, the peanut butter on the new jacket, the homework

battles, the Play-Doh in your computer keyboard, and the refrains

of “She started it!” leave you counting the minutes until bedtime.

On these days, when you (again?!!) have to pry a raisin from a

nostril, it seems like the most you can hope for is to survive.

However, when it comes to your children, you’re aiming a lot

higher than mere survival. Of course you want to get through those

diɽcult tantrum-in-the-restaurant moments. But whether you’re a

parent or other committed caregiver in a child’s life, your ultimate

goal is to raise kids in a way that lets them thrive. You want them

to enjoy meaningful relationships, be caring and compassionate, do

well in school, work hard and be responsible, and feel good about

who they are.

Survive. Thrive.

We’ve met with thousands of parents over the years. When we

ask them what matters most to them, versions of these two goals

almost always top the list. They want to survive diɽcult parenting

moments, and they want their kids and their family to thrive. As

parents ourselves, we share these same goals for our own families.

In our nobler, calmer, saner moments, we care about nurturing our

kids’ minds, increasing their sense of wonder, and helping them

reach their potential in all aspects of life. But in the more frantic,

stressful, bribe-the-toddler-into-the-car-seat-so-we-can-rush-to-the-

soccer-game moments, sometimes all we can hope for is to avoid

yelling or hearing someone say,

“You’re so mean!”