The Separate Beds Chapter

Sleeping apart is not the end of a marriage, and moving back in is not the repair. Most couples who try it discover the bed was never the thing.

Four things go when the bed goes, and they go in a fixed order: the conversation, the touch, the witness, and the sex. Three of the four have nothing to do with where anybody sleeps — which is why putting the bed back so rarely puts the marriage back.

Fifteen pages: the four losses in order, the six reasons couples separate rooms and which of them are worth revisiting, the visiting hour, and the five rules of the corridor. For snoring, shift work, illness, a bad back, a child in the bed, or a decision made years ago that nobody has revisited since.

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